Ham and Spinach Pasta Salad

I like pasta, but I don't like mayonnaise. This has proved to be quite the conundrum for many years. I've done my fair share of smiling and making small talk while trying to choke down someone's vile, mayonnaise-drenched macaroni salad. In my opinion, the mild flavor of mayonnaise does not mesh well with the mild flavor of pasta. Traditional pasta salad is little more than flavorless texture. Who wants to eat that? Not me. 

Fortunately, flavorless things lend themselves well to modification. While pasta salad does require some mayonnaise to keep its texture, there's no rule that says you actually have to taste the stuff. No sir. Out with the mayo and in with the Ranch. I never use measurements for pasta salad, so add as much or as little of the ingredients as you want. What I provide here is just a rough estimate. 

Ingredients:

• 3 cups dry macaroni (or any pasta noodle)
• 2 tbsp mayonnaise
• 1/2 cup Ranch salad dressing
• 3 slices ham, chopped
• 1/4 cup shredded parmesean
• 1/2 cup frozen peas
• 1 tsp water
• handful of fresh spinach leaves, chopped
• 1 tomato, chopped

Directions:

Boil the macaroni to your liking. Drain it and set it aside. Put the peas in a microwave-safe dish with the tsp of water. Cook the peas for about 3 minutes, or until soft. If your peas are wrinkly, you cooked them too long. Toss 'em in the trash and try again. We don't want wrinkly, dry, old-man peas in our pasta salad, capiche? Good thing frozen peas are cheap. 

Mix the mayonnaise and the Ranch into the pasta salad until you get the right consistency of liquid to noodles. This varies for everyone depending on preference. Mix in the ham, spinach, peas, tomato and parmesean cheese. Cover the pasta salad and put it into the refrigerator to chill. If you like it warm, by all means, eat it warm, but I want my pasta salad chilled so that I don't have to think about the fact that I'm eating warm mayonnaise. Ick. 

If you're pressed for time, let it chill for a little while in the freezer. Just don't forget its in there. It won't explode like a Coke will, but ice crystals in your pasta salad is almost as bad as tons of mayo.